Humility is for the Birds
I’m tired of playing it small. If I think I’m the baddest b*tch alive, who’s gon check me?
Why is it that when Black women celebrate themselves, it’s called arrogance? In a world that already puts us last, why is pride seen as a problem? Women, and specifically black women, are often told to be humble anytime they choose to give themselves praise. Whether it’s with their looks or abilities, they’re not allowed to be proud.
On one of my habitual scrolls through social media, I came across a clip of Real Housewives of Dubai star and model Chanel Ayan at the season one reunion. She was draped in a stunning yellow-and-gold feathered gown by Michael Cinco, the designer behind looks for Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, and J.Lo, and declared without hesitation that she knew she would be the best dressed in the room. Almost instantly, another castmate tried to check her, insisting that true beauty is rooted in humility. While I understand the sentiment, I couldn’t help but wonder: what’s the point? Ayan shut it down effortlessly, reminding everyone, “God did not take all this time to create me to be humble for nobody. Not gonna happen.” Period.
It reminded me of a 1994 clip of 14-year-old Venus Williams confidently telling a reporter she would beat her opponent. The reporter tried to question her confidence, confused because tennis had never seen a competitor like her. Her father, Richard Williams, stepped in immediately and demanded that the interviewer stop trying to break her self-image at such a young age. Again, PERIOD!
Across pop culture, art, and media, women’s confidence has been framed as vanity but Black women aren’t even allowed to exist in the frame
From the famous optical illusion painting “All Is Vanity” by Charles Allan Gilbert (1892), which shows the dark side of vain expression, to the straight-up depiction of self-praise in works like “Vanity” by Auguste Toulmouche (1890), women’s self-admiration has been a hot topic for quite some time. But why are there no famous depictions of black women?
“All Is Vanity” by Charles Allan Gilbert (1892)
Can a girl love herself or nah? And why don’t we have many positive depictions?
“Vanity” by Auguste Toulmouche (1890)
My days of being humble are over. All humility has ever done for me was shrink my self-concept in ways that did nothing to benefit. Whenever I see a woman, especially a black woman, get shut down or reprimanded for being proud of who she is or what she has to offer, a light bulb goes off in my head. Being loud and proud is an act of political defiance in a world that duplicates our essence and pushes it out for resale and profit. So the next time someone tells you to be humble, remember: humility was never made for us.
